


%enophile

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Dave is physically incapable of shutting up, M/M, PWP, Xeno, of the non-tentabulge variety, shameless abuse of italics, thousands of horrible euphemisms for male genetalia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-08
Updated: 2013-04-08
Packaged: 2017-12-07 21:21:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/753201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wasn’t there some human phrase that suited instances like this perfectly?  ‘Speak of the devil,’ or something similar.  Of course, when Strider first mentioned that, he had gone off on a tangent involving a hellbeast of some sort invading one’s hive, eating everything in the refrigerator, overwriting saved television programs…  Equius rather suspected that the human was expanding far more than was strictly necessary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	%enophile

The dreambubbles had most certainly taken some time to grow accustomed to. Time passed sporadically at best, although noticing it at all took more effort than Equius cared to expend on something so trivial. He also suspected that his bubble was unusually isolated, not that he particularly cared to seek the company of others. It suited him perfectly well that, aside from the first time where a few doomed Aradias explained how the bubbles actually worked, his only visitors were Nepeta and occasionally-

“Yo, musclehead.”

Of course. Wasn’t there some human phrase that suited instances like this perfectly? ‘Speak of the devil,’ or something similar. Of course, when Strider first mentioned that, he had gone off on a tangent involving a hellbeast of some sort invading one’s hive, eating everything in the refrigerator, overwriting saved television programs… Equius rather suspected that the human was expanding far more than was strictly necessary. 

“Hello.” He didn’t bother to look up from the circuitry he had been working on before he got lost in his musings. He could sense the human’s gaze, hidden as it was by those perpetually present sunglasses, lingering on him as he worked. A few moments passed, with Strider watching and Equius attempting to ignore the feeling of judgment and the perspiration beading on the back of his neck.

“Don’t you ever get bored of that robot shit?”

The question came without any warning, taking Equius off guard. The delicate wiring crumpled in his startled grasp, prompting a muttered comment of exasperation. “No,” He replied curtly, getting up to find a replacement for the part he had just accidentally destroyed. He knew that he could simply manipulate the dreambubble so that the destroyed piece was repaired, or never broken in the first place, but habits established in life were difficult to change.

“You sure about that?”

“Yes.”

“Because they’re really kind of creepy. Almost as creepy as that furry porn you’ve got posted everywhere.”

Dave was trying to annoy him, Equius knew, but it certainly wasn’t a blackrom solicitation. Even the thought of such a thing made him perspire more heavily. Humans were too alien to even have the caliginous quadrant. “It is not,” He needed a moment to gather the will to even say the word, and even then he had to virtually spit it out. “ _Pornography._ It is art.”

“So you’re saying you’ve got the _really_ kinky shit hidden away somewhere,” Dave supplied, far more cheerfully than the meaning of his words should allow.

Equius chose to not dignify that with a response, instead grabbing a towel to dab excess perspiration from his brow. He did not know what was more troublesome: the fact that the human had no issue with saying such things, or the fact that he actually did have a few unspeakably lewd images hidden away for… personal purposes. 

“Called it.” A glance in Strider’s direction proved that his face was as unreadable as always, but the human’s tone belied his smugness. 

“You called nothing,” Equius protested indignantly, but Dave just smirked slightly and he knew that the sweat soaking through his shirt was giving the lie away. The idea that this, this alien could see right through him did absolutely nothing to help matters. 

Silence persisted as Equius looked for another towel, but he strongly suspected that Dave was about to say something entirely inappropriate. It seemed that every time the human visited, he’d come armed with a multitude of questions that were truly none of his concern. _“Hey, so what happened to that horn of yours? Looks like that hurt like a bitch.” “Isn’t Aradia your girlfriend? Or hate-girlfriend? Fuck if I know how troll love shit works.” “So, do you always sweat that much, or are you just overwhelmed by my magnificent presence?”_

Zahhak’s suspicions were not incorrect. “How does that even work for you guys, anyway?”

“What.”

Dave shrugged, leaning back on his hands – when did he sit on the worktable? – and raising an eyebrow. “You know. Having some ‘personal time’. Spanking the monkey. Choking the chicken. Becoming firmly acquainted with the crotch dachshund. Beating the meat. Donking the doinker. Shaking the schlong. Getting to know yourself. Tainting the trouser-bear. Grooming the bald-headed cadaver. Thumping the pump. Exercising the bologna pony. Priming the DNA rifle. Reporting to Captain Winky. Hazing the weasel. Blessing the divine rod. Casting a spell with the magic wand. Fapping. Jerking off. Wanking, if you feel like getting all British about it.” 

Even if Equius had any intention of answering such a hopelessly inappropriate question in the first place, that massive, unbroken string of euphemisms completely destroyed his ability to do so. He could only stare blankly at the human, equal parts flustered and perplexed, and attempt to form a coherent sentence. “W-why would you even- that is exceedingly lewd- one simply cannot ask something like-”

“This is just pure scientific curiosity over here,” Strider interrupted. “I mean, I really have no idea what sort of weird shit you’ve got hidden under that shorts/pantyhose combo you’ve been rocking. For all I know, it could be anywhere from normal human junk only gray to some kind of tentacled monstrosity straight from the animes.”

Equius somehow managed to resist the urge to swallow his tongue. “And. You are asking…”

“Hey, we’re dead,” Dave pointed out. “What’s the worst that could happen? And there’s no way you could honestly say that you weren’t curious ‘bout us either. Come on, you show me yours and I’ll show you mine.”

Equius hesitated a moment, regarding Strider cautiously. The idea was not one he had spent much time pondering, but now that the concept had been presented… There was quite a lot about the human that was intriguing. How frail Dave appeared, although what happened in the game proved well enough that he was more than capable of causing quite a lot of destruction. The unusual – no, _unnatural_ – pale hue of skin that barely concealed blood that had no place on the hemospectrum, lower than the lowest maroon. The complete lack of reasonable claws, or horns of any sort. To even consider debasing himself in such a way for such a creature… Equius shuddered. With any luck, Strider would translate it as one of revulsion, would miss the sheen of sweat betraying his inner excitement at the idea of actions so depraved… 

“That’s what I thought.”

Luck had never been Equius’ strong suit.

“What,” Equius began to ask, cursing himself for giving in to such a concept so easily, trying to keep in mind that he was just as alien to Dave as the human was to him. If Equius was perverted for accepting the idea, well, Strider clearly must be worse for proposing it in the first place. The thought brought him little comfort. “What would you have me do?”

Dave smirked slightly, as if the question alone satisfied some kind of requirement for him. As if he were judging everything Equius did and said. The human had the confidence and ease of command that would befit a highblood better than some extraterrestrial. “Well, wouldn’t it make sense to lose the shirt first?” Strider asked, as if it were the only possible solution. 

The order, even implied as it was, was enough to make Equius’ breath catch in his throat for an instant. He obeyed without question, exposing his torso for observation. 

Strider’s expression showed neither approval of nor disgust towards the figure before him. In one smooth motion, he hopped off the workbench and stood before the troll. Without any regards to personal space, the human traced his fingertips over the contours of Equius’ muscles. 

The light touch, the _apathy_ behind it, was enough to make Equius’ bulge start to swell. Sweat trickled down his back.

“At this rate you’re going to flood the entire bubble,” Dave commented, sounding as though he felt nothing more than a clinical, detached interest in the situation. “What are those things on your sides?”

It took Equius a moment to realize what the human was talking about. “Things on- Oh. Pupation marks. From when we lose the extra legs that we have as-”

“Are they a thing?” Dave sounded genuinely curious for a moment, but the interruption passed so quickly Equius couldn’t be sure if it was just wishful thinking on his part. The context was enough for him to know what Dave meant by the question.

“It- It depends on the troll. Some enjoy having th-” Equius’ reply was cut short with a contented chirp as the human’s touch shifted, pressing and rubbing against the marks. “Yes, li-like that.” 

Strider chuckled quietly. “You guys really are kind of like bugs, aren’t you.” It wasn’t a question. “You sounded almost like a cricket there. Or maybe a cicada. Yeah, more like a cicada, except a hell of a lot less eardrum-destroying. Is that a troll thing in general, or are you just some kind of weirdo that way?” 

“It… is typical.” 

“All right then. So that’s one area where you’re not a total freak.” 

Equius shivered as the human stepped back and removed his own shirt. Dave was slightly built compared to him, but toned muscles were clearly distinguishable under thin skin. The troll watched him intently, taking note of everything unfamiliar – the small indentation on his stomach, the darker-hued nubs over his pectoral muscles, the dusting of hair on his chest and a bit on his abdomen trailing down to…

“Face up here, Zahhak.” 

The troll instinctively snapped his gaze upward. Strider’s usual unreadable expression was gone, replaced by what could only be described as a smug smirk. “Getting all hot and bothered already? Your alien ding-dong getting up and into this?”

“I-”

“Shut up and show me.”

Equius hesitated a bit longer than was entirely acceptable (and Dave just sat there and kept _looking_ at him like that and oh goodness this entire situation was so inappropriate on so many levels and that was doing absolutely _nothing_ to keep his bulge down) before nodding and removing his shorts.

For several moments, Strider said nothing. Equius resisted the urge to cover his swollen bulge, to give himself at least some miniscule semblance of decency. The human had instructed him to expose himself. He would remain as he was until commanded otherwise. The pause dragged on for much longer than was comfortable, and Equius bit his lip nervously, trying to ignore the trickle of blood that welled up as a result.

“I don’t know what I was expecting,” Dave finally said, his apathetic tone giving way to evident amusement. Equius clenched his fists.

“What exactly do you mean by that?”

The human stepped forward suddenly, forcing Equius to resist the urge to either flinch away or attack. Despite Dave’s shaded glasses, despite the fact that his blank eyes wouldn’t have given anything away without them, Equius knew he was being stared down. His breath hitched slightly. 

“I mean,” Dave said, the peculiar drawn-out tone of his speech growing more obvious with each word, “That I feel like I’ve discovered what would happen if Ken popped a boner. Congratulations, you’ve helped me solve one of the biggest mysteries of the universe, right up there with how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop and what sick and twisted plane of existence Furbies come from.”

By the time he finished that nigh-incomprehensible monologue, Dave was standing so close to Equius could almost feel the warmth radiating off of his skin. He was at a total loss for words.

Apparently his expression betrayed more than he realized. Dave outright grinned at him. “Damn, you are seriously getting off on this, aren’t you?” 

Equius glanced around him, but there was nothing in the immediate vicinity that he could use to brace himself on, and he knew he’d need it if things kept going this way. The workbench was set against the nearest wall, but Dave blocked the way to it. The human chuckled at Equius’ reaction. “You aren’t even getting pushed around by a lowblood this time, after all. I’m not even on the rating scale,” He said. Equius shuddered, letting the words slice through him. His hands twitched as he fought the urge to touch his bulge. It wouldn’t do at all to lose control this soon – not while Strider was still partially clothed. He’d make a fool of himself.

Dave was still talking. “You’re letting a freakish mutant of an alien tell you what to do. Shouldn’t you be ashamed?”

Equius couldn’t stop the pleased chirp escaping his throat. The way the human was acting was humiliating, in the most exquisite way. “Strider, if. If we are going to actually be doing this,” He said, blushing deeply, “We. I am going to require a pail.”

“What’d happen if there wasn’t one?”

The troll stared blankly for a moment, trying to process the question. Another troll would never have asked something like that. Another troll wouldn’t even have to be warned about the need for one. “The… the drones would-”

Dave grabbed Equius by the shoulders, interrupting him. Equius let himself be steered over and pushed against his workbench, grabbing the edge to avoid being pushed over backwards. “In case you didn’t notice, princess,” Dave said, shifting his hips and drawing Equius’ attention to what could only have been the human’s equivalent of a bone bulge. “We’re both dead.”

Equius gasped. The fabric of Dave’s pants was far from thick enough to keep him from feeling the heat of Dave’s stiffening bulge, and pushing close enough to his own to nearly drive him mad with want. “It would be wrong,” He said, trying desperately and failing to ignore the first trickles of genetic material sliding down his thighs.

“More wrong than fucking a human?” Dave countered, sounding amused and remaining infuriatingly still.

Gripping the workbench hard enough to crack it, Equius whimpered and forced himself to not just rut desperately against the human. He struggled to think of a reason for needing a pail that Strider would accept. “It’d be… messy,” He finally stated. It was a weak argument and they both knew it.

The human chuckled again, stepping back and examining the dark blue stain on his pants. “Well that’s interesting,” He said. Equius growled quietly in frustration. Dave ignored him. “Open your legs, ponyboy. I want to get a better look at what you’re packing down there.”

Equius drew in a long, shuddering breath and shifted so he was leaning more of his weight against the workbench. He spread his thighs, exposing his swollen seedflaps and already dripping nook to the alien before him. He waited for some kind of reaction, but Dave’s poker face seemed to be thoroughly back in place. Equius shifted slightly in discomfort. Was he disgusting to the human? Was that why he wasn’t reacting? Oh god, he should _never_ have agreed to this, why did he think there was any possibility of-

“You have a vagina.” A voice cut directly through Equius’ worries. He stared blankly at Dave, perplexed.

“What.”

Dave shrugged, running a few warm fingers over Equius’ seedflaps and drawing a long, pleased trill from the troll. The human didn’t seem to notice, instead examining the blue fluid he’d swiped up. “It’s not really that human-looking, I’ll admit, but it still seems pretty damn vaginaesque to me.”

“I… I still don’t…” Equius trailed off awkwardly.

“Oh, how rude of me,” Dave drawled. “Here I am, with you all spread-eagle in your horny naked alien glory and I haven’t returned the favor and let you get a glimpse of my love muscle.” He palmed at his bulge through his pants and Equius whined. “I guess all the questions about alien biology can wait until after I’ve let you get an eyeful of the good ol’ banana stand.”

Equius resisted the urge to roll his eyes. No matter what the circumstances, it was a bit difficult to take Strider’s nonsensical euphemisms seriously, but the human was undoing the button and zipper of his pants and-

Oh.

Suddenly Dave’s nearly continual references to oblong meat products made far more sense. And, Equius realized somewhat detachedly, made several comments the human had made over the time he’d known him infinitely more inappropriate. He couldn’t help but be reminded of his art collection, to some extent, even despite some obvious differences in things like scale and coloration and more subtle differences in the shape of-

“Damn, Zahhak,” Dave interrupted Equius’ thoughts, sounding amused at his expense. “You’re staring like you just took a spin on the xenocock roulette for the hell of it and landed straight on the fifty-million-dollar jackpot.” Equius tore his gaze away with some difficulty, going blue in the face from embarrassment. “Also you’re starting to make a puddle,” Dave added.

Equius whimpered, feeling another drop of genetic material escape him, but it was slow. Too slow. He desperately needed stimulation. “I- I did say that it would be messy,” He stammered, welcoming the change of subject no matter how indecent it was. He couldn’t have Strider realize that he was inwardly comparing the human’s anatomy to a hoofbeast’s. Judging by how he reacted to fine art, Equius suspected it would go over poorly. 

“Well it looks like messy was the understatement of the century,” Dave pointed out, wrapping his fingers around the shaft of what Equius had to assume was his equivalent of a bulge and stroking it slowly. “Unless you just got off without even touching yourself, which I doubt. As excellent as my 100% all-beef thermometer is, I’m sure I’m not _that_ good.”

“No,” Equius replied, shifting his weight slightly. “I- I haven’t. I need…”

The human raised an eyebrow. “Dude, are you seriously asking my permission to start whacking it? Or are you asking me to fuck you?”

“Are you… saying you would?”

Dave shrugged, pressing his thumb against the flushed tip of his bulge. “Nn, depends on how your junk works. It sort of looks like you’re equipped to handle the man stick, but I can’t be sure. Unless trolls are backwards and it’s the ladies who have the dicks.” Equius stared blankly, his attention once again arrested by the human’s form, the slide of fingers over flesh. “Let’s cut a deal, Zahhak,” Dave kept talking, although it was clear that his breathing had gotten heavier. “We stick with the original plan, and you show me how the fuck trolls get their jollies off. Then we figure out where to go from there.”

Equius nodded, finally allowing himself to rub the heel of his palm over his bulge. He trilled ecstatically, letting his head fall back as the jolts of pleasure seared through him, shifting his hips to get a better angle, more contact. It was almost embarrassing, debasing himself like this in front of an audience, but it had been so long since he’d trusted himself to do this at all with the knowledge that anyone could appear in his bubble at any moment. Each splatter he heard of genetic material hitting the floor was a reinforcement of how depraved the situation was. It was as maddening as it was relieving, but after hearing Dave mutter an awed obscenity under his breath, Equius couldn’t be bothered to care much further. 

A warm hand gripped his wrist, and Equius instinctively froze, growling in frustration. Dave pulled his hand away and pressed it against the workbench. “Forget the century. ‘Messy’ was the understatement of the millennium.”

_“For god’s sake,_ Strider,” Equius snarled. “Let me- I need to-”

“Ever had anything stuck up there?” Dave asked, ignoring Equius’ demands entirely.

It took Equius a moment to realize, through the suffocating haze of frustrated arousal, that Dave was referring to his nook, and even longer to construct a coherent reply. He was too overwhelmed by the fact that Dave had him pinned (no, that was ridiculous, he could overpower the human any second if he wished) against the workbench, and-

A deep chirring noise escaped Equius’ throat as he realized that he could feel Strider’s bulge pressed against his, even without movement, without friction. “No, I never…” He replied, inwardly trying to calculate the relative risk of accidentally harming the human if he shifted, just a little bit… “It is– that would be- doing that would… It would taint the genetic material, it’d…”

“Would it hurt?” Dave interrupted.

Equius chewed his lip slightly. “I don’t know. I never tried. Some people do, but-” Equius cut himself off, going blue in the face once again. This was _not_ the time to be talking about any of the pailing prompting images or videos he had. Especially not the more… obscure ones.

Dave still caught on, and grinned smugly. “Want to try?” He asked, releasing one of Equius’ wrists and tracing a finger against his seedflaps.

He choked slightly, trying to fight the urge to struggle against Dave. He failed to stop the humiliating sound that escaped his throat. It seemed so obvious to him in hindsight - humans were mammals, of _course _it would be typical for them to... he nodded before he could articulate his thoughts more clearly. It was extremely difficult to not dwell too long on the precise nature of the human species, with the way Strider kept touching his seedflaps and drawing attention to the difference between their body temperatures in a most obscene way. Equius loved it.__

__"Out loud, Zahhak," the human commanded, dipping a finger ever-so-slightly into Equius' nook for a fraction of a second, drawing out a few more drips of genetic material. Dave sounded almost amused when he added, "Do you want the D or not?"_ _

__Equius' attempted growl gave way to an ecstatic trill, but by this point he no longer cared how transparent he was being. He was filthy, absolutely depraved, but so was Strider. "Yes," he finally managed to say. "Just- stop teasing me, please."_ _

__Dave slipped the pad of a finger into his nook, not yet fully inside. "Just promise me one thing."_ _

__"Anything." Equius could feel the workbench split under his grip._ _

__"Try not to clench down or anything." The human's digits pressed further in, not enough to be uncomfortable, but inarguably invasive. "I'm not holding any illusions about your freakish strength, and I really don't want you to break anything I put into th- whoa, are you seriously purring now?"_ _

__Equius didn't bother to correct Dave's terminology. He spread his legs wider, in the hope that the human would get the message. Apparently Dave did, because he leaned over Equius and pressed harder, doing _something_ with his fingers that brushed against Equius' seedflaps and stretched deep inside him in a way that left him all but writhing against the workbench. "Again," Equius pleaded, his chirring giving his voice an almost embarrassingly rough undertone._ _

__Instead, Dave laughed at him and withdrew his hand, examining the blue smears of genetic fluid on his fingers. "Damn," he mused, seemingly ignoring Equius. "That is really wet." Equius glared, and Dave chuckled at him. “Patience, blue.”_ _

__“I have been,” Equius growled, his voice laced with tension from the way Dave kept winding him up and backing off, “Exceedingly patient. I just-” The human interrupted him by shoving fingers deep into his nook again, making Equius cut himself off with a deep chirr and a growing suspicion that Dave was doing that on purpose._ _

__“You make the weirdest noises.” Equius nearly missed Dave’s comment completely, what with how the human kept working his fingers inside him, all but driving him out of his mind with want. There was a part of him that wished he hadn’t noticed what Dave had said at all – apparently it was common for humans to lack the ability to shut up?_ _

__“Yeah, I think you’re good now,” Dave muttered, and for a moment Equius hoped that meant he would just stop talking already. “Ready for the stinky pickle, ponyboy?”_ _

__Equius’ disgust at that particular euphemism must have shown, since Dave quickly continued, “All right, all right, bad term. Yogurt slinger. Wankie. Not stinky pickle. That just sounds gross, you’re right. Maybe-”_ _

__“Are you going to do it, or do you intend to just keep talking for the next sweep?”_ _

__By way of response, Dave gripped Equius’ thigh with one hand, digging his blunt nails into the troll’s skin. “All right, princess, but you’d better tell me if my power drill’s got too much force for your delicate alien sensibilities.”_ _

__Equius scoffed at the possibility, but then Dave was pressing against his seedflaps, past them, and Equius couldn’t be bothered to complain about much of anything anymore. He shut his eyes, feeling himself being stretched – unnaturally, exquisitely so. He could feel Dave’s… whatever the proper term was, pushing him apart within, as deep as he had been pressing his fingers._ _

__And then Dave stopped, breathing loudly enough for Equius to hear over his own chirring. “Shi-god damn, _fuck,_ ” the human groaned, resting his forehead against Equius’ shoulder. Equius was almost concerned for a moment, but Dave didn’t sound harmed to him, and any doubts were extinguished when he kept talking. The human’s voice came out strained, but it didn’t seem to be stopping him. “How is it even legal to be this wet, dude, like seriously. And goddamned tight too, but you’d better keep your promise about not clenching because the last thing I want is for you to squash my dick out like it’s a tube of toothpaste or something. That probably should’ve been a bonerkill just now but you know what it wasn’t that’s how fucking good this feels. Hope you’re proud of yourself because you’ve gone and ruined me for humans forever because this shouldn’t even be physically possible but it’s fucking hot even with you being all creepy sort of room temperature but you know what fuck it that’s probably a good thing because if you were hot too I’d probably have blown my load already because _fuck you_ I’m not even all the way in Jesus _fuck._ ”_ _

__Equius’ attempted comment about how it would probably be better if Dave stopped talking died in his throat at the last part of that monologue. “W-what do you mean, you aren’t…” He turned his gaze downwards. “…Oh my god,” he let out a shaky breath, his chirrs dropping down to a borderline rumble._ _

__“Yeah, keep purring, bug-boy,” Dave muttered, gripping Equius’ sides and rubbing his thumbs against his pupation marks. “And hang on tight, this is going to be a rough ride.” He snapped his hips forward. Equius nearly blanked out, clawing deep gouges into the worktable and failing to keep a string of expletives from escaping him._ _

__Dave stopped as he was, allowing Equius the time to sense and adjust to the feeling of being invaded in the most obscene way. He ached from within, his nook stretched around something his body was never intended to accommodate, and it was far from intolerable. And the human was still rubbing at his pupation scars._ _

__“…Damn. I didn’t wreck anything in there, did I? I mean, you’re still purring and so on so I’m taking that as a good sign.” Dave pinched at the marks, drawing an absolutely disgraceful sound from Equius. “You’d better tell me that you’re okay with me moving because while I’d like to just stay in here forever and build a house raise an entire goddamn family here but no _seriously_ if I don’t get some motion in this ocean I’m going to end up with worse blueballs than you’d have if you had balls.”_ _

__“Just,” Equius growled, dangerously close to waxing black for every incarnation of Dave Strider but especially this one, “Stop. _Talking._ ”_ _

__“No can do, Zahhak, Strider FM runs all day, every day. If you want the fucking you’ve got to get used to the oh _fuck_ okay, okay, yeah, never mind I’ll shut up now.” Equius released Dave’s shoulder – he’d barely touched it at all, humans were so _weak_ – and leaned back again as the human started to move. _ _

__It was disgusting, completely against nature, and Equius reveled in it. He couldn’t stop the noises he was making – the chirrs, the trills, at one point Dave hit an angle inside him that made him actually chirp in a way he’d barely known he could. No matter where he tried to focus his gaze, he ended up staring at Dave’s face, twisted in his own bliss, or further down, watching genetic material spilling from him and staining the human’s skin blue. It came freely, even without any direct contact to his bulge, and before Equius could manage any kind of warning, he was done, shuddering as his body was wracked with pleasure, drained of all the material it had to give._ _

__Equius didn’t know when Dave reached his peak, or if he even had. By the time he regained his senses, his nook was empty and the human was leaning against the more intact section of the workbench next to him._ _

__When he realized that Equius was staring at him, Dave paused in his ineffectual attempts at wiping blue from his thighs. “You waiting for some kind of smartass comment from me?” he asked. “Because if so, you’re out of luck. Thought I was going to be fucking your brains out but turns out mine went off on vacation while I was preoccupied.”_ _

__“You seem to be coherent enough for excessively elaborate metaphors,” Equius pointed out mildly. He couldn’t work up the energy to be very annoyed, whether at Dave or about the ache radiating from his nook._ _

__“Yeah, sure, whatever. Just. Damn,” Dave exhaled loudly, practically seeming to deflate. “We’ve gotta do that again sometime. This shit stains, doesn’t it?”_ _


End file.
